Sorry, You're Just Not My Type
by Shuichu-to-Shuichi
Summary: Naruto was raised as a girl. He's the sole heir of Konoha Kingdom. But what happens when this princess needs a prince? Can Naruto keep up the act? Or will it all come tumbling down at his... her royal suitors' ball when someone gets too close? Sasunaru.
1. Sweet Sixteen

Story: I'm Sorry, You're Not My Type!!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto… otherwise it would somehow have Jack Sparrow, my favorite yaoi plot, and Mexican chocolate… you don't want to know. Anyways, back to the story.

Warning: We've got some…: yaoi, profanity, and other stuffs… what do they call it again?

**Shuichu: They call it etc. I call it potatoes. Whatever you think. **

Shuichi: hmm… that's a tough choice! I think I'll take potatoes for 1oo!

**Shuichu: Hurry up, and get on with the story, baka!**

Shuichi: Did you mean that in Spanish or Japanese?

**Shuichu: Does it look like I know Spanish? I'm Asian for Pete's sake! (No offense to anyone who is Asian and speaks Spanish.)**

Shuichi: …Who's Pete?

**Shuichu: OMG. Your mom!**

Shuichi: Really? Pete, can you make me a sandwich?

**Shuichu: Idiot! Just get back to the story already! Jeez! **

Shuichi: Okay, okay! Don't get your knickers in a twist.

**Shuichu: O.o**

HERE WE GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

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"Your highness, you look absolutely ravishing. There won't be a set of eyes that can look away from you at the ball tonight," the woman fixing up his dress said.

Naruto looked at the mirror. He stared at the pure white flower in his hair and the dark blue, flowing dress he wore. If he'd known any better, Naruto would have thought he was really a girl. It scared and embarrassed him at the same time. And almost immediately, he looked away, ashamed.

Naruto knew this day would come. In fact, he'd tried running away from it, but every time, the queen's guards caught him. They always locked him back up in that godforsaken tower. It was horrible.

The woman that had designed his outfit must have seen his face because she remarked, "Oh, don't look so sad, my lady. You are absolutely stunning in that dress. Are you nervous about meeting the guys? Don't worry. They won't be able to keep their hands off you!"

Naruto nearly cried. For any normal girl, hearing that he looked good in this dress and that all eyes would be envious or worshipping would be the best news in the world. But for a guy, …the idea of getting stared at sexually by men and dancing with them made Naruto want to jump out of the tower he was locked in everyday.

Every compliment on his "elegant, petite figure" or his "heavenly face of light" was another stab to his pride from the knife that the people of his kingdom bore.

His kingdom… yes, it was amazing. In the thirteen years he'd lived in the Konoha Empire, Naruto had been raised to be the next ruler of his kingdom. He had lessons on things from math to manners. He ate salad as a main course. (He even wore lacey pink underwear.) All of these things were a part of, as his royal advisor put it, becoming the perfect queen.

That's right. A queen.

You see, in this world, the women now have all power. Whether it's the new color of the royal curtains or the decision to go to war, the women make the choice. It's been that way since the Great War when Naruto was younger, where the third king of Konoha was killed in battle. He protected his people to the end and is honored. When he died, the woman Naruto called "Granny" became ruler. She was the granddaughter of the first ever king of Konoha. Lady Tsunade, that's what they all called her. Everyone adored her. She was a strategic ruler and didn't panic in the face of chaos. That's why the kingdom decided from then on that women would be the ones in control.

Though Naruto wasn't a blood-relative of the queen, he could become the ruler because he'd been adopted by the queen from birth when his family had died, and no other heir was available. The only problem was: Naruto was a guy.

But of course that didn't stop a "strategic" queen from succeeding. Tsunade realized when she adopted Naruto as her own, he had very girlish features. Of course the pressure for an heir had been on her mind and so… she made Naruto a girl.

No one had known about Naruto yet. It was easy for her to change the gender and not raise any questions.

And that's why Naruto was about to go to his "Happy-Sweet-Sixteen-And-Get-Yourself-A-Man-Birthday" Ball.

"Princess, I'm going to go tell Lady Tsunade that you are ready to go downstairs to the ball. But I think your advisor will be here in a second, so don't go down just yet."

"Huh? Oh… yeah. Don't go down. Kakashi's coming'. Got it."

The woman smiled at Naruto before turning to leave the room. "Oops. I am so sorry. I didn't know you were outside the door. Please come in!" Naruto heard the woman say from outside. He stood tall as the figure walked in, only to relax upon recognizing the person.

"It's just you, Kakashi. What did you want anyways?"

"Princess, I-"

Kakashi stopped short when he heard a growl emit from Naruto. "I'm sorry. I'd forgotten after talking with others about your ball for so long."

"I don't care! You of all people should know why I hate that stupid title. It's not… fair. "

"Naruto, you're right. It's not fair, but if Lady Tsunade found out that I knew you were really a man, she would not be pleased. Though I know you hate it, I must call you things like "princess." I'm sorry, but that's the way it has to be."

Naruto sighed. He'd had this conversation a million times with his royal advisor, Kakashi. And every time, Kakashi always said the same thing.

"Naruto, I will escort you to the ballroom, now. Be a good boy, and come quietly or I'll have to kidnap you."

Naruto looked at his advisor bewildered before saying, "I-if you're going to actually address me as a guy, you could at least leave the lecherous old man act behind. That's just wrong on too many levels."

Kakashi and Naruto laughed until their faces turned red before they actually made any progress towards the door.

They walked down the hallway towards the grand staircase where every man in all of Konoha waited eagerly for a chance to dance with the princess. "Naruto, I know tonight will be difficult for you, but please bear with it. We can't risk people finding out about your secret."

Naruto looked over to Kakashi. "I will hate every moment of today, but I promise no one will find out… but you will be serving me something other than salad for two whole weeks, do you hear me?"

"Loud and clear, princess."

Naruto tried his best not to wince at the name, and began to walk down the steps, straight into the sea of men.

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Okay guys, what'd you think? I hope you like it cuz I sorta kinda really tried on this one!! Lol. So, um… review for me, please? Just tell me what you liked or what you didn't like… What you wanna see in the next chapter… you know. REVIEW. Just….

push

That

'Go'

Button!!


	2. Guy Shy

Hey again! It's Shuichi again. I'm just typing another of my lame stories. BUT feel free to review if you want to!

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Though hundreds of guests had come to the ball, it was quiet as Naruto walked down the staircase to the ballroom. His heels clicked with each step in the silence, and butterflies were fluttering in his stomach.

His long blonde hair spilled over his flowing blue dress as he descended the stairs. Soft lights behind him added a glow that accentuated Naruto's cerulean eyes.

Lady Tsunade stood at the bottom of the staircase, one arm held out to him. She stood out from the crowd below in her beautiful white dress, but seemed just as taken in by Naruto's presence. When Naruto finally clasped her hand in his own, she leaned into his ear and whispered, "You look stunning, Naruto. _I_ almost thought you were a girl."

Naruto began to say something, but Tsunade was already pulling him through the crowd towards the throne. He felt the guests' eyes follow each step they took. It was all too much for him. He almost pulled away from Tsunade's hand until he saw a familiar face.

"Neji!"

"Good evening, princess! You look gorgeous," the boy said as he bowed. "May I have the first dance?"

"Of course!" Naruto answered, still trembling from the butterflies in his stomach. He held out his hand to Neji and was swept onto the marble floor. He heard the orchestra chirp in at the sight of the princess dancing.

When they had drifted into the middle of the room, the music changed. The orchestra was playing a slow song. Neji still took the lead as they danced.

Now that the song was slow, Naruto had time to look around. The room was filled with people he didn't know. And he was supposed to marry one of these strangers?

"Is something wrong?" Neji asked. He'd been staring at the princess as they danced. She looked troubled as she glanced around the ballroom.

Naruto felt his eye twitch. What was he thinking? There was someone he knew right in from of him, and he wasn't even paying attention. Now he wasn't making Neji worry!

"I… it's nothing. I'm sorry I wasn't paying attention."

"Princess, we've known each other for so long. I can tell when something's troubling you by now."

"Well… I don't want to dump my problems on you."

"Princess, I'm honored that you care, but I don't mind. So, dump away."

"I-I just don't _know_ these people… any of them! It just makes me feel uncomfortable. I mean, I'm supposed to be… I'm supposed to _marry_ one of these men. I can't..."

His words trailed off. Didn't he seem selfish? This was supposed to help his country. His people were depending on him.

"Princess, are you uncomfortable around me, too?"

Naruto looked in to Neji's eyes. He hadn't meant it like that. Neji was taking it the wrong way!

"Of course not! You're the only one I even know hear for crying out loud!

He felt Neji's lips brush against his ear, and he tried to hold back a blush. Neji's soft voice whispered, "Would you like to keep it that way?"

Naruto jerked his head back, caught off guard. Before he could string a sentence together, the song ended. Everyone started changing partners, and Neji disappeared into the crowd.

"Hello, princess. Names' Kiba… of the Inuzakas. How are you this evening?"

"I- I'm fine," Naruto stuttered, still shocked by Neji's sudden change.

He'd known Neji since he was seven. They were playmates in the palace. Tsunade requested that they not be because Neji was a boy, but Naruto refused to play with anyone else, and she was forced to comply. This was the first time he'd ever seen Neji do something like that, and for some reason, it was making Naruto shy. He was never shy even for a pretend princess.

"Quite, princess," Kiba said, distracting Naruto from his thoughts.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"You said you were fine. I was merely agreeing."

Naruto carefully signaled Kakashi to send the next man even though the song wasn't over. He was a guy, too. He didn't need to know what Prince Kiba was thinking about. It certainly wasn't ballroom dancing… well, maybe horizontally in his mind.

After about twenty minutes of dancing with strangers, Naruto was able to sneak away to the balcony over the gardens. He removed the flowered comb from his hair and placed it on the railing, letting his hair flow freely. A lock of it caught on his dress. Naruto cursed but untangled it. Why did he actually have to _grow_ long hair? A wig was just as convincing.

"It's beautiful out here, isn't it? The sky is so clear."

Naruto whipped around. A dark figure stood under the shadows of the palace wall.

"W-who are you?" he asked.

"Just another man seeking to dance with a beautiful princess. You wouldn't have happened to see one, would you? I hear she has hair as golden as the sun and eyes as blue as the depth of the sea."

Naruto almost laughed… the first laugh since the ball started. Everyone was so uptight because he was royalty. He couldn't joke around with any of these strangers. Not that a princ_ess_ was supposed to.

"Come out from the dark. I can't see you."

"Of course, princess. Your wish is my command."

Naruto detected sarcasm, but he didn't bother saying anything. He hated that part of his power anyway. People shouldn't be controlled by anyone but themselves.

"Anything else I can do for you?"

Naruto looked up. He'd lost himself in thoughts again. He probably needed to try and fix that. Maybe—

'_Oh, my God...'_

The mysterious man was beautiful. He wore a black suit like most men at the party, but everything else was completely unique. His eyes were as deep as an ocean and as dark as a midnight sky. And his hair… every swirling lock seemed to fall just right, covering just enough of his face to make Naruto curious.

Naruto reached out to move a lock only to trip over his own dizziness. Two arms caught him… pale arms. Naruto blushed. They were so close.

"You should be careful, princess! You almost hurt yourself."

Naruto turned around in the arms.

"Neji?"

"Yes, princess?"

"I… I thought you were…" Naruto started. He was staring at the wall. No one was there. "Who was that, Neji?"

"Who are you talking about, Princess?"

"He was standing right there… where did he go?"

"When I came over, no one was here except for you… Are you feeling okay?"

Naruto was baffled. He was definitely not crazy. He'd been talking to someone… hadn't he?

"Um… I… Maybe I am tired."

"Come, Princess. I will take you to your room. If you are tired, you should rest."

Naruto refused, blushing as he remembered his dance with Neji.

The brunette didn't seem to hear him. He swept Naruto up and carried him through a side door to his room, all the while avoiding Tsunade. Neji knew Naruto wasn't supposed to leave the ball.

With one arm, Neji opened the door and placed the princess on the bed as lightly as possible.

"Princess…"

Safe in his room, Naruto immediately dismissed titles; however, he wasn't allowed to use his real name. He was a princess after all.

"Stop with all the formalities. It's Na-… Noriko."

"Oh, um… pri- I mean Noriko…" Neji stuttered. It was an honor to address the princess by name even if Neji was royalty himself… especially since this was the Konoha Empire.

Naruto patted the spot beside him and Neji sat down.

"I've been wanting to tell you something…"

Naruto looked at him. What was up with this? Neji was usually so calm… then at the ball, he'd been so… seductive… and now he was shy?

Maybe he'd seen Naruto scratch his butt during the dance…

'_Oh man! I was trying so hard not to make it noticeable! It's not like men are suppose to wear girls' underwear anyway!"_

"Noriko, I…"

Though it escaped Naruto's panicking notice, Neji had moved close enough to feel Naruto's breath on his skin.

'_Here it comes!' _he thought, closing his eyes in embarrassment

Instead, Naruto felt two hot lips pressed against his own. Neji's breath tickled his cheeks and made his arms suddenly feel heavy. And his lungs were tightening with each second, begging for air. He had no strength to move.

After a quick nip on his bottom lip, Naruto felt lighter. Neji was sitting next him, gasping for air. He began to say something, but it was broken by his pants.

"No… Noriko, I didn't… I didn't mean to…"

A knock at the door silenced him. Neji rushed for the door, glad for a distraction. His blush deepened as he walked forward knowing two cerulean eyes were watching.

"H-Hello?"

"Good evening. I'm looking for the princess."

"Um… yes… she wasn't feeling well…. S-so I brought her t-to her room." Neji stuttered. He could almost feel her lips against his own again. His heart was ready screaming for him to run.

"Well, would this happen to be that room or not? I need to return something to her."

"Y-yeah. I was just leaving."

Naruto recognized the voice and immediately felt his blush return. He watched as the Neji left… not even looking back. What was that kiss just now? Why was he just leaving like that?

The door closed and Neji was no longer in view. Naruto looked up at his guest.

"How have you been, princess? Miss me?"

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Meh… I haven't sleep in two days now… I'm going for three. Is that unhealthy? Oh well.


	3. Getting to Know You

Man, this was the hardest story to update. I didn't know what to write for a second, but then it hit me like a parked car. Lol. You would understand that so much more if you knew me. But that's a long story that would require therapy for you afterwards. Oh, speaking of stories…

Let's start this one. I can't wait to find out what happens between our mystery man and Naru… I mean Noriko.

Shuichu: Aren't you already supposed to know?

Shuichi: Shut up, dude! They don't know that!

Shuichu: Well, I think they're on to us.

Shuichi: Damn it! Go get the peanut butter… I'll fix this.

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"How have you been, princess? Miss me?"

For a moment, Naruto didn't speak. He was entranced by the man's beauty again. Every heave of his chest made Naruto's heart flutter. Why? He didn't know. But he didn't want to find out.

"I hear there is something you wish to return to me?"

"Yes, but how have you been, princess?"

"I saw you a few moments before, didn't I? Wouldn't you know?"

The man smiled.

"You were on the balcony when I saw you, and now you are here."

"You aren't answering my questions. Why?"

"Why does it bother you that I don't answer?"

Naruto glared at him from across the room. He was making everything difficult and right now, Naruto couldn't deal with that.

"If you wish to keep this up banter, I ask that you leave. I'm not in the mood for any jokes," Naruto said.

"What are you in the mood for?"

"Answers," Naruto responded.

He was staring at the jewelry box on his dresser. Neji had given it to him at the Christmas party Tsunade had thrown last year. He'd smiled so beautifully when Naruto had decided to replace his old one with it. Just the thought of Neji's lips was enough to make him blush.

"Ask any question you like."

"How many can I ask?" Naruto asked. He had an idea.

"Until you have no more," the man said, gesturing towards Naruto's table by the window. Naruto nodded and stood up.

"This could take awhile."

"The night is still young."

Naruto sighed. He didn't know if his idea was so smart anymore but sat down.

"What can I help you with?" the man asked. He smiled and propped his head on his hands, eyelevel with Naruto.

"What's your name?"

"Sasuke Uchiha."

Naruto looked at him for a second. This guy was an Uchiha? It'd been a long time since he'd even seen one let alone talk to them. Ever since the attack in their kingdom, the Uchihas have disappeared of the map. Every once in awhile someone catches a glimpse of one, but for the most part, they kept to themselves now. If the rumors Naruto had heard were true, the Uchihas had been attacked by one of their own… but no one really knew.

"Something wrong? You've gone silent."

"Was it really one of your own men who attacked the kingdom?"

The question came out before Naruto could stop it. He looked away, embarrassed for asking such a personal question.

When the man didn't speak, Naruto took a chance and looked at him.

He was shocked. There was so much anger emitting from the man. He watched curiously as the man curled and uncurled his fists. His lips were thin; Naruto could tell he was biting his lip to keep from saying something.

But what shocked Naruto the most was the man's eyes. They weren't obsidian anymore as they had been on the balcony. Pure crimson fury blazed within each orb. It frightened Naruto… every nerve was on alert in his mind… every hair on its ends on his neck.

He jumped when the man finally answered.

"I… I'm sorry about that. It's a… touchy subject between the Uchihas… the attack, but it's true. We were attacked by our own… or at least, he _used_ to be our own."

Naruto kept his eyes down as he apologized.

"I didn't mean to ask that. It was just… you said you were an Uchiha, and when I was a kid, I heard a maid gossiping about it, and I couldn't believe that someone would attack their own village… and I really am sorry. I shouldn't have asked 'cuz it really isn't m business and now I'm rambling aren't I? I do that when I get nervous… or I just don't speak at all. I should probably shut u—"

Naruto stared down at the hand touching his own across the table. When he looked up, the man's eyes were back to normal.

"I didn't mean to frighten you. I just wasn't expecting that question… What else did you want to know?"

Naruto gulped. it was relieve to get off the last subject but… it was really embarrassing to ask what he wanted to.

"Well… you see… there's this… guy. He's a friend of mine and… he… um… he-"

"He kissed you?"

"H-how did you know?"

"Your expressions are very easy to read."

Naruto blushed. He hated the way the guy said that. It made him sound like such a… girl! And he wasn't a girl. He was a guy… who just happened to be wearing a dress and lipstick.

"Well… yeah, he did. And I… don't know why he did, but he did. And I don't want to jump to any conclusions, so…."

"Ah, you're seeking a guy's opinion. Well…" Sasuke began, suddenly very serious, "exactly _how_ did he kiss you?"

Naruto must have looked confused because he added, "What did he do when he kissed you? Did he say anything?"

"He started to, but I wasn't really listening because I did something embarrassing at the dance and I thought he saw it and then… bam! He was kissing me."

"This _he_ you're referring to. Are you talking about the man who left when I walked in?"

"Yeah," Naruto answered shyly.

"Well, by the way he was blushing as he ran, I'm pretty sure the guy's crazy over you. Or he had a fever. For my sake, let's hope it was the latter."

"What do you mean for _your_— Oh… the ball."

"Yes, but don't worry. I don't intend to give up on such a beautiful lady."

Naruto laughed. Was this guy serious? Everyone was calling him beautiful and everything, but how far was this going to go? No matter how many dresses he wore at the end of the day, Naruto was a guy… He had to make sure sometimes when he went to the restroom, but overall, he was definitely sure he was a guy.

"Please don't laugh. I'm serious."

"Look… you're really nice and all, but I'm not interested in guys."

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. He was smiling.

"Then what _are_ you interested in, princess?"

Naruto's eyes widened. He hadn't meant to say that. Oh, Tsunade was going to kill him.

"N-no… you misunderstood. I didn't mean… oh, god. She's going to kill me."

"_She_?"

Naruto gasped.

"Oh, god no! I'm talking about Tsunade…. Uh, never mind. Look, I didn't mean it _that_ way," Naruto said. He took a deep breath and tried not to wince as he kept talking. "I merely meant that I'm not interested in any guys _now_. As in… no one's attracted my interest. Yeah…"

Sasuke was still smiling.

"If you say so, princess. Any more questions you would like to ask?"

Naruto couldn't look at him.

"No… I think I'm a little tired… but we should pick this up later… when I'm more awake," Naruto said before mumbling, "And watching what I say…"

Sasuke stood and bowed, his eyes never leaving Naruto's.

"It was nice meeting you, princess."

"Uh… yeah. You too… um… Sir Uchiha."

"Call me Sasuke if you like."

"Ok… It was nice meeting you… Sasuke."

Sasuke grinned. He bowed again, taking Naruto's hand in his own and kissing it. Naruto looked out the window, trying not to blush.

He watched as the raven-haired boy closed the door behind him. When the lock clicked and he was sure Sasuke was gone, Naruto ran to his dresser to get his _special_ change of clothes.

They'd also been a gift from the Christmas party. Kakashi had given them to him though. It'd been the best gift all night… all his life actually.

Kakashi had bought him _guy_ clothes. A pair of baggy black jeans… a regular t-shirt… and a hat to hide his hair. It was perfect. Naruto could sneak out of his room dressed like that because no one knew what _Naruto_ looked like. They only knew Noriko.

Naruto smiled as he slipped the dress up over his head and pulled the jeans on. They were really comfortable.

As he reached down for his shirt, there was a knock on the door.

"Who is it?" he asked, hesitating. He hadn't expected anyone to come up here.

"It's me. I came to check on you. Oh, and there's someone—"

"Kakashi? Come on in. I'm just changing clothes. That dress got too…"

Naruto froze. When the door opened, his royal advisor wasn't alone.

"W-what are you doing here?"

"… I forgot to return your… uh… comb… So… _this_ is why you said you're not interested in guys, huh?"

Kakashi swore under his breath and glared at Naruto. He gave him a "we'll-talk-about-this-later" look before shutting the door behind him.

"Sir Uchiha…" Kakashi said, cracking his knuckles, "as the princess's royal advisor, you understand why I can't let you leave now, right?"

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"Has anyone seen Noriko? She just disappeared during the ball."

"Good evening, Lady Tsunade. Sir Hyuuga escorted her to her room during the ball. The princess wasn't feeling well. But… Kakashi and Sasuke Uchiha visited her later."

"What's this about the Uchiha? He _visited_ Noriko?"

"Yes and the guard watching her room said that neither has come out yet."

"Well, that _is_ something to behold. I didn't even expect the Uchihas to send _anyone_ to the ball after everything that's happened to them…."

"Yes, he said he was talking to the princess on the balcony and she accidentally left her comb on the railing. Kakashi went to check on how she was feeling though. Would you like me to get one of them for you?"

"Hmm, it's quite alright. I'm sure she's having a very lovely evening with Sir Uchiha and Kakashi… Is Neji around or has he left already? I should probably thank him for everything."

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Meh… I was listening to this song while I was typing and about halfway through it, I realized it wasn't in English. I felt kinda stupid for a while. Oh well. Hope you liked the update. Really, really, really, really hope you review!


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